Prayers for Scrupulosity

I’ve recently been helped by the long church tradition of collect prayers (pronounced COLL-ect). Collects are old prayers, many dating back to the sixteenth century as part of the Book of Common Prayer, and they are commonly used in liturgical church services. They’re designed to be short and follow a particular format of addressing the Lord, acknowledging one of his attributes or actions, presenting a request, and ending with another acknowledgment of who he is or what he’s up to.

David and Phaedra Taylor are responsible for my love of collects. Last year they released a collection of new collects written by David, accompanied by Phaedra’s watercolor paintings. The prayers cover a variety of topics and occasions, meant for everyday use for God’s people. Here’s what the description says: “The Christian faith invites us to pray all of our lives back to God, lest we begin to believe that there is any part of our lives that God doesn’t see or isn’t interested in seeing.”

Here’s why I find collects so helpful, especially for scrupulosity.

First, collects remind me that God is interested in the minute details of our lives, and he wants to hear from us in the midst of the struggle with scrupulosity. He invites us to pour out our hearts before him, and he wants us to acknowledge our need of him every moment of the day.

Second, I find collects helpful because they are brief. And therefore, they don’t say everything that needs to be said. I often feel the tension of wanting to remember every possible thing there is to remember about my struggle and how to fight it. Or, as I grapple with a new intrusive thought, I feel pressure to call to mind every single truth I’ve learned, every single encouragement I’ve received. But the way of change is not like that. We change in moments, and those moments aren’t drenched in every facet of biblical truth, but often by just one nugget of truth.

I work at an organization alongside a lot of counselors, and it’s the same for them in their work—they do not turn on the firehose and dose their counselees in information or encouragement (no matter how biblical and helpful all the counsel may be!), but rather look for ways to offer them one kernel of hope. Pastors preach one passage of Scripture at a time, not considering every theological topic (no matter how helpful all those truths are) but honing in on what God is saying in a particular passage. So in the same way, we can’t expect to hold all that knowledge in our minds at once. We need manna for each day. Collect prayers remind me that the comfort Jesus offers isn’t a firehose to dose me all at once, but a glass of water, and then another when I need it. And even more, writing collects has been an exercise in that understanding.

The particularity of a collect prayer is what makes it so compelling—I consider one aspect of who God is, and then I apply that to one aspect of what I’m struggling with. It’s a real God meeting real life, in the particular moment I’m experiencing.

I want to share a few of the prayers I’ve written below. I hope they encourage you to know God is present in your struggle and wants to hear from you. I hope they encourage you to rest from the pressure of wanting to know it all and say it all, resting in the Lord who does know all and who hears each prayer, whether we think we’ve prayed it well or not. And I hope each prayer comforts you with one simple, profound truth about who God is and how he meets you in each struggle.

Prayers for Scrupulosity

A Prayer for Those Stuck in Introspection

O Lord, whose love is based not on my righteousness but on your own, quiet my incessant, obsessive introspection and turn my eyes outward and upward, that by gazing at you I may find rest in your works, rather than anxiously scrutinizing my own. In the name of the One who is my all-sufficient merit. Amen.

A Prayer for Those Afraid of Separation from God

O Lord, who loves his people with a steadfast love, comfort my heart now with the truth that neither uncertainty nor lack of assurance, nor anxiety nor intrusive thoughts, nor obsessions nor compulsions, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate me from your love in Christ Jesus. In the name of the God who keeps his covenant. Amen.

A Prayer for Those Afraid of Apostasy

O Lord, you who promise to keep your people, I am afraid of slipping—whether through the willful chasing of sin or the slow backsliding of daily decisions. Make me ever more aware of your firm grip and steady strength, which is true even in my greatest weakness and inability. In the name of the One who will not lose any of his own. Amen.

A Prayer Before Taking Communion

O Lord, you who made this meal before me, I am afraid that I come unworthy and thus will eat and drink condemnation on myself. Give me the courage to partake of this meal, not because I’ve earned it but because it was your body broken and your blood poured out. In the name of the One who alone prepares the meal and invites us to feast. Amen.

A Prayer When Obsessing Over a Theological Question

O Lord, whose ways are unsearchable, remind me that I am finite and a creature. Even though I do not know the answer to this question, I know you, and you are infinitely trustworthy. You do not require me to have all the answers, but only to follow you; help me do so humbly and trustingly. In the name of the One who alone is all-knowing. Amen.

A Prayer for Daily Bread

O Lord, whose power is made known in my weakness, teach me the goodness of daily bread, sustaining me through today’s trials. Though I ultimately desire relief from my sufferings, may I find your strength sweeter when my weakness is loud. In the name of the One who is better than any relief or cure. Amen.

A Prayer for When the Suffering Is Long

O Lord, you who are acquainted with grief, encourage my faint heart when the suffering is long, that I may take courage in your presence in it, cherishing how it makes me like you rather than only seeking relief. In the name of the Man of Sorrows himself. Amen.

A Prayer When Comparing Your Story with Another’s Story

O Lord, you who are the author of many diverse stories, help me not look at another’s life and wish it were mine, but rather embrace what you have given me—all its joys and trials, knowing you have given to each person what they are called to bear. In the name of the One who makes every story beautiful by its proximity to you. Amen.