I know Holy Week can be hard for a lot of us who struggle with scrupulosity. Often, special seasons or holidays in the Christian year mean more church services and thus heightened exposure to Scripture, prayer, and the other things that can trigger our intrusive thoughts and anxiety. But I want to encourage you with... Continue Reading →

What does it look like to rest amid scrupulosity? “Rest” and “scrupulosity” feel contradictory to me. Is there room for rest amid the persistent cycle of rumination and anxiety? Obsessions don’t clock in and clock out. They don’t berate you for a limit of 40 hours a week and then relent during off-hours. They give... Continue Reading →

How do we reconcile the sufferings of life with who God is? There’s so much joy and beauty in this world, but there seems to be equal amounts of suffering and horror. I recently read Psalm 77 and was struck by the way that the writer, Asaph, navigates this question. He is simultaneously honest about... Continue Reading →

There’s an implicit belief in those of us with scrupulosity that we are all-knowing, or at least, that we can be. We don’t truly believe this. We know that we are finite creatures and that God alone is omniscient. But we functionally believe that we alone have a clear view of ourselves. I see this... Continue Reading →

I’ve often heard well-meaning Christians say something like this to someone facing a decision: “God will make it clear.” The problem is that sometimes we make this a kind of superstition. We start to essentially think, “If I pray, God will answer with peace, or give me certainty, or show me exactly what to do.”... Continue Reading →

Do you ever get stuck in confession? Like a stuck tire futilely spinning in mud, you continually confess but never find freedom. You’re always trying to discern whether you have sinned or not, whether you need to confess or not. And because your conscience is predisposed to condemn you, you’re likely to err on the... Continue Reading →

Recently I visited a church with my brother. It’s a reformed congregation that uses liturgy to guide and structure its service. When we got to the time of confession and assurance, I was struck by something unexpected: this part of the service was “backwards.” The pastor read the words of assurance first, and then came... Continue Reading →

What do you do when you pray for healing, and the answer is silence? I don’t doubt that God can heal me. I believe his power, ability, and sovereignty. But I do struggle to believe his goodness. He can heal; he is able; but is he willing? It seems to me that if God were... Continue Reading →

Sometimes it feels like God has forsaken us. We don’t hear his voice. We don’t feel his presence. We struggle even to see his hand at work in the world. We cry with the psalmist, “My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Ps. 22:1). We know the theological truth: God will never forsake his children.... Continue Reading →

The Christmas season is one of my favorite times of the year. But it’s also one of the hardest. I suspect this is true for many people, for many reasons, whether it’s difficult family situations, the absence of a loved one or some good thing, or other various circumstances that make us weary, sore, and... Continue Reading →

Faith is not easy. Some Christians may give the impression that it is. We think of faith as certainty, or assurance, or unwavering hope. But how often are we absolutely certain about things of faith? How often do we fluctuate between a buoyant trust and a dark despair? How often do our circumstances dictate our... Continue Reading →

I am intolerant of anxiety. When I feel it building, I try to get to the bottom of it in hopes that I can rid myself of it. One morning recently I woke up with an unusual amount of anxiety, and it stayed close by for several days. I racked my brain—why all this anxiety... Continue Reading →

We’ve heard them many times before: stories of long-standing self-proclaimed Christians renouncing their faith, no longer identifying themselves as Christian. I don’t pretend to understand why this seems to be prevalent, and I’m sure there are many, multifaceted reasons why an individual would turn their back on Christianity, but I wonder if one possible factor... Continue Reading →

It’s been a while since I’ve posted or even written. Some of it has to do with the fact of a new chapter in life. I have been adjusting to a new schedule of full-time work and part-time graduate classes, while pouring into a new church community. Other hard situations have left me depleted of... Continue Reading →

A few weeks ago I wrote about how Scripture can be discouraging and even terrifying for those with scrupulosity (read it here). If we engage with Scripture, we’re bombarded with intrusive thoughts, doubts, and anxiety. If we avoid Scripture, we’re bombarded with intrusive thoughts, doubts, and anxiety. If this is reality, what can we do?... Continue Reading →