Sufficient in Our Sorrows

What do you do when you pray for healing, and the answer is silence? I don’t doubt that God can heal me. I believe his power, ability, and sovereignty. But I do struggle to believe his goodness. He can heal; he is able; but is he willing? It seems to me that if God were... Continue Reading →

Following God When You Feel Forsaken

Sometimes it feels like God has forsaken us. We don’t hear his voice. We don’t feel his presence. We struggle even to see his hand at work in the world. We cry with the psalmist, “My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Ps. 22:1). We know the theological truth: God will never forsake his children.... Continue Reading →

An Invitation to Lament

The Christmas season is one of my favorite times of the year. But it’s also one of the hardest. I suspect this is true for many people, for many reasons, whether it’s difficult family situations, the absence of a loved one or some good thing, or other various circumstances that make us weary, sore, and... Continue Reading →

A Bruised Reed

Faith is not easy. Some Christians may give the impression that it is. We think of faith as certainty, or assurance, or unwavering hope. But how often are we absolutely certain about things of faith? How often do we fluctuate between a buoyant trust and a dark despair? How often do our circumstances dictate our... Continue Reading →

Doubt is Not the Opposite of Faith

We’ve heard them many times before: stories of long-standing self-proclaimed Christians renouncing their faith, no longer identifying themselves as Christian. I don’t pretend to understand why this seems to be prevalent, and I’m sure there are many, multifaceted reasons why an individual would turn their back on Christianity, but I wonder if one possible factor... Continue Reading →

The Tyranny of Perfectionism

It’s been a while since I’ve posted or even written. Some of it has to do with the fact of a new chapter in life. I have been adjusting to a new schedule of full-time work and part-time graduate classes, while pouring into a new church community. Other hard situations have left me depleted of... Continue Reading →

Engaging Scripture When It’s Terrifying

A few weeks ago I wrote about how Scripture can be discouraging and even terrifying for those with scrupulosity (read it here). If we engage with Scripture, we’re bombarded with intrusive thoughts, doubts, and anxiety. If we avoid Scripture, we’re bombarded with intrusive thoughts, doubts, and anxiety. If this is reality, what can we do?... Continue Reading →

When Scripture Turns Terrifying

Sometimes Scripture is scary.It takes me down rabbit-trails of terror.Verses others find comfort and strength in seem to pummel me to the ground and kick me while I’m down.I more easily see myself in the place of the damned than the Christian.Scripture is a double-edged sword. By far the most comforting words come from it;... Continue Reading →

Rumination is a Compulsion, Too

If obsessions are the thoughts and doubts that come to mind, compulsions are what you do in response to them. Often we think of compulsions as outward behaviors. However, for many of us with OCD (especially scrupulosity), many of our compulsions are internal or “invisible,” i.e., mental or cognitive. This is one reason why scrupulosity... Continue Reading →

When Church is a Battleground

Many Christians attend church, and yet for those with scrupulosity it's often not easy. Here’s what a day at church might look like for the struggler. For me many weeks are better with fewer doubts and less anxiety, while other weeks may be much worse; this is just a snapshot to give you a window... Continue Reading →

Common Characteristics of Scrupulosity

There are many characteristics common amongst those with OCD. While not every struggler may identify with every characteristic, or they may identify with some more than others, I have generally found these helpful in identifying patterns in my own struggle. 1. Inflated Sense of Responsibility We feel like we are ultimately responsible. I need to... Continue Reading →

A Constantly Condemning Conscience

What do you do when it feels like your own mind is your enemy? That’s how it feels. The flood of self-condemnation seems almost unending. I can over-analyze every little thought, action, or word, and be encroached by guilt. Even good actions and words are discounted; I chalk them up to bad motives. OCD is... Continue Reading →

How Scrupulosity Thrives in the Church

Last week I wrote about how scrupulosity—if left undiagnosed and untreated—can hide in the church, smoldering unseen and unaddressed. It can also thrive in the church due to distortions and messages, both good and bad. There are so many aspects of this, so this list is by no means exhaustive, but here are just a... Continue Reading →

How Scrupulosity Hides in the Church

There are many ways in which scrupulosity hides in the church. By this I don’t mean any particular church, but the church as a whole; not just on Sunday mornings, but through every interaction with other Christians, too. When I say scrupulosity hides in the church, I’m saying there are things unique to Christian culture... Continue Reading →

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