Welcome!

Some Christians experience unwelcome thoughts, obsessive rumination, and persistent anxiety about their relationship with God. They struggle to read Scripture, pray, take communion, and participate in various other things that most Christians seem to be able to do. They wrestle with an overly tender conscience, an intolerance of uncertainty, and persistent feelings of condemnation, not quelled by loved ones’ well-meaning reassurances. But they often don’t realize what they’re dealing with. They chalk it up to a faith issue or a lack of trust, and so continues the cycle of condemnation. Yet these symptoms and more are consistent with an experience called scrupulosity, also referred to as religious OCD.

Why a Blog?

Because of the complex nature of the struggle, scrupulosity is generally misunderstood, even in Christian circles—or perhaps especially in Christian circles. It may appear to others as purely a faith struggle instead of a complex mental disorder. I strongly suspect that because of this, many people in the church live with undiagnosed and thus untreated scrupulosity.

Add to that the fact that scrupulosity is understudied, and few resources currently exist on the topic, even fewer from a biblical perspective. What resources do exist on the disorder often fall into academic, generalized discussion. The writing is medical and methodical, produced by psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors who have studied scrupulosity. These are immensely important resources and in no way do I discount them. However, very few resources exist that discuss scrupulosity within the Christian context. In addition, stories of personal experience may often be even more encouraging than objective dissertations; it can be helpful for strugglers not only to know the disorder exists, but to know there are people out there who get it.

And so I offer to you this blog, which has a two-fold purpose: First, to share my own experience with scrupulosity. Second, to offer some reflections on scrupulosity and thoughts on what have been helpful tools and encouragements in my own struggle. Both of these reasons are ultimately so that they might prove useful for others, both those who struggle and those who seek to help them. However, I am not a professional. I still battle scrupulosity, and I merely want to share with you some light I’ve found along the way.

(Keep in mind, too, that while those with scrupulosity share many similar struggles, the way it presents itself is different for everyone, and thus treatment may look different, too. If you are struggling with scrupulosity, a blog will not be enough to aid you in the battle, and I encourage you to seek professional help. While I hope to offer encouragement in some way, this blog should not be used for diagnosis, prescription, or treatment.)

If you are a fellow struggler, I hope you find on this blog deep encouragement, solidarity, and support for the hardships of scrupulosity, regardless of the particulars. If you do not struggle in this way, I hope this blog can be a useful tool for you to grow in understanding and your ability to walk alongside and encourage others in your life.

How to Navigate the Site

For a brief introduction to scrupulosity/religious OCD, start here. Then, proceed to the Blog section, where you will find the bulk of my writing. Check out the Resources page for articles, books, websites, and more that have been helpful to me in this struggle.