help & hope for scrupulosity
Sometimes Scripture is scary.It takes me down rabbit-trails of terror.Verses others find comfort and strength in seem to pummel me to the ground and kick me while I’m down.I more easily see myself in the place of the damned than the Christian.Scripture is a double-edged sword. By far the most comforting words come from it;... Continue Reading →
If obsessions are the thoughts and doubts that come to mind, compulsions are what you do in response to them. Often we think of compulsions as outward behaviors. However, for many of us with OCD (especially scrupulosity), many of our compulsions are internal or “invisible,” i.e., mental or cognitive. This is one reason why scrupulosity... Continue Reading →
Many Christians attend church, and yet for those with scrupulosity it's often not easy. Here’s what a day at church might look like for the struggler. For me many weeks are better with fewer doubts and less anxiety, while other weeks may be much worse; this is just a snapshot to give you a window... Continue Reading →
There are many characteristics common amongst those with OCD. While not every struggler may identify with every characteristic, or they may identify with some more than others, I have generally found these helpful in identifying patterns in my own struggle. 1. Inflated Sense of Responsibility We feel like we are ultimately responsible. I need to... Continue Reading →
What do you do when it feels like your own mind is your enemy? That’s how it feels. The flood of self-condemnation seems almost unending. I can over-analyze every little thought, action, or word, and be encroached by guilt. Even good actions and words are discounted; I chalk them up to bad motives. OCD is... Continue Reading →
Last week I wrote about how scrupulosity—if left undiagnosed and untreated—can hide in the church, smoldering unseen and unaddressed. It can also thrive in the church due to distortions and messages, both good and bad. There are so many aspects of this, so this list is by no means exhaustive, but here are just a... Continue Reading →
There are many ways in which scrupulosity hides in the church. By this I don’t mean any particular church, but the church as a whole; not just on Sunday mornings, but through every interaction with other Christians, too. When I say scrupulosity hides in the church, I’m saying there are things unique to Christian culture... Continue Reading →
This isn’t a post I had planned to write any time soon. It’s a fear I’m ashamed to share. I was putting this post off for as long as I could… until very recently when I had an anxiety attack, which has only happened a handful of times in the last three years. And I... Continue Reading →
We hear it a lot: “One day at a time.” It may sound trite, but it can also be one of the most helpful things for those who struggle to live in today, like me. I am torn up with guilt for the past and suspended in anxiety for the future, and I suspect this... Continue Reading →
“Aslan is a lion—the Lion, the great Lion.” “Ooh” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he—quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.” …“Safe?” said Mr Beaver… “Who said anything about safe? ’Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”1 If you’ve read the... Continue Reading →
Those who suffer from OCD often feel isolated, as we recognize our abnormal thought patterns and behaviors are different from those around us. We often have a mistaken assumption that we are the only ones in our lives who struggle in such a way, but in fact, many people who struggle either don’t receive a... Continue Reading →
What does a scrupulosity cycle look like? I gave a short explanation of the loop of obsessions and compulsions on the What is Scrupulosity? page. But in reality, it’s not linear or simple. The cycle is less a neat sequence of steps like those of a winding staircase and more the disorientation and unpredictability of... Continue Reading →
Last week I wrote about "doing the opposite." But how do we face uncertainty without losing heart? And how do we engage with the Lord in the midst of it? As Christians, even as we strive to follow Christ faithfully, we have a lot to learn from modern psychiatric practices, including exposure and response prevention... Continue Reading →
How do we battle spiritual obsessions and compulsions? What practical steps can we take to fight through the fog of scrupulosity? The most commonly used therapy for OCD is known as exposure and response prevention (or ERP), which ideally should be practiced in the context of professional help (i.e., a counselor or therapist trained in... Continue Reading →
For the first several months of my struggle, I didn’t share with others. At least, not completely and transparently. I remember sharing with my dad in the early days, but I only shared vaguely about my lack of assurance. He told me this was normal—every Christian doubts their salvation at some point. I felt encouraged... Continue Reading →
Grace Abounding in OCD 